Profile Val Newton-John, Liv's (good) step-mum
THE fact that Val Newton-John is film star Olivia Newton John’s stepmother is, of course, fascinating.
So naturally one has to ask the inevitable questions. Val, who who fronts up as the absolute antithesis of the “wicked” stepmother image, is obviously used to being interrogated on this subject and she answers readily.
“Liv is incredibly well balanced and terribly un-phoney,” she says.
“She was a tremendous kid and now she’s a very hard-working, warm and compassionate woman. There’s a lot of self criticism and she doesn’t believe in phoney publicity. She’s a bit of a perfectionist, I suppose, which I’m sure is one of the ways she’s resisted being phoney.”
Val was 29 when she married Brin Newton-John, then Professor of German at Newcastle University, and Liv was 15 years old an age that makes parents shudder and step-parents run for cover. But there were no hassles. “It was easy,” says Val. “She was still living with her mum in Melbourne and visited us in the holidays. Because of our ages I was half mother and half sister to her.”
Their relationship got off to a good start, based initially on a mutual love of cats.
“We had lots of really good things in common and we’re both animal freaks,” says Val. “Liv has almost got a mini zoo going at at Malibu. She She has a large stable, five or so dogs and her one luxury is to to allow herself full-time help for the animals.”
The fact that this stepmother and her stepchildren (Brin’s other daughter, Rona, is an actress and son, Hugh, a doctor) are all such good friends is not really surprising when one knows that Val is a very committed and caring clinical psychologist.
A talented pianist, she had intended making music her career but was dissuaded by her parents who felt it was not a “safe” profession. She therefore trained to be a private secretary, worked for a while in London and then came back to Sydney, became General Secretary to the National Union of Australian University Students, then later moved to Newcastle where she managed the first University Co-Op Bookshop.
It was not until she was 26 that she decided to to do her matriculation in which she excelled after which she went to Newcastle University where she majored in psychology. “I felt I needed to study,” she says. “My head had been neglected.”
Now she is vice-president of the Marriage Guidance Council (having been president for three years), has a clinical pyschology practice in Glebe and, from from now no on, a column in Good Housekeeping.
Her special field is family therapy on which she has very strong views.
“A lot of troubles in families today is that parents try to be best friends,” she says. “Children are being asked for too many opinions and they are being burdened. The problem is very bad with single parents who lean on their children to such an extent that the children often become semi-spouses.”
“At one stage we had the “children should be seen and not heard phase, now we’ve gone too far the other way.”
“Parents have to learn how to be hated, to stand firm on decisions and to let the child know that someone knows what he’s doing.”
What worries her most is the lack of communication in families today.
“I’m still old-fashioned enough to say that since TV, families sit together but they don’t communicate,” she says. “There are a lot of lonely people in families because nobody wants to share problems and they push feelings underground all the time.”
She is convinced that one of the reasons children turn to drugs is that they are not encouraged to show their pain and their feelings.
And similarly, when kids do turn to drugs, their families suffer in turn. For this reason, she has a regular group once a week of parents whose kids are at Odyssey House.
“If someone has a problem, the whole family has the problem,” she says.
“Parents trying to get through their pain and suffering don’t share their difficulties. They become isolated.”
Another of her beliefs is that full-time parenting is essential when children are very young. She is opposed to women going back to work full-time when their children are not yet at school.
“The younger they are, the more important it is that you’re with them,” she claims.
“And if you put this effort in early, you’re going to be much freer when they’re older.”
Her own children, Sarah, 16, and Toby, 15, are, she says, incredibly independent and help her in her practice, which she conducts from her home.
The point should be made here that she and Brin have been separated for three years, but there is absolutely no animosity and the family unit is as strong as ever.
“We get get together for dinners and private outings and it’s really much the same as it was when we were together,” says Val.
The reason for the separation, she says, was that her husband had retired and was looking at new interests as a broadcaster with a classical music program on 2MBS FM and she was getting her career in order.
“Our lifestyles were completely different and it was easier for us to get on with our own lives lives separately.”
Photo caption: CLINICAL psychologist Val Newton-John (above), whose first column appears in the June Issue of Good Housekeeping. Val specialises in family therapy. At left, her famous step-daughter, Olivia, with whom she shares a love of cats.
By Ursula Woodhouse